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Phyllis Diller's Funniest Quotes

0820_phyllis_singlePhyllis Diller died this morning​ at the age of 95.

A legendary comic, no subject was off-topic. During the '60s, she poked fun at a lot of conventions about marriage and family. She was truly a pioneer for female entertainers and comedians.

See 15 of our favorite Phyllis Diller quotes below:

1. It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.

2. Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

3. Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

4. I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

5. Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

6. We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

7. Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

8. Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

9. I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

10. Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

11. The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

12. I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

13. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

14. My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

15. Robert Redford once asked me out. I was in his room.

Rest in peace funny lady!

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