






But hey, can we not shame Sarah Jessica Parker about her feet here? Can we all just accept that sometimes things happen to our bodies that are actually, objectively gross without making it about her as a person? Because while this story might make you straight up nauseous, SJP is still a person. She's just a person with the sickest story ever.
Let's just kill this suspense and get everything out there, all right? Here's Sarah Jessica's story:
"For ten or so years, I literally ran in heels. I worked 18-hour days and never took them off. I wore beautiful shoes, some better made than others, and never complained. But then I did I Don’t Know How She Does It, and I was very thoughtful about my whole wardrobe and said, you know, [Kate Reddy] could not afford really good footwear. So I got [lower priced] shoes and the bottoms weren’t leather, they were plastic, so I slipped a couple times, twisted my ankle. I went to a foot doctor and he said, 'Your foot does things it shouldn't be able to do. That bone there... You've created that bone. It doesn't belong there.' The moral of the story is, the chickens are coming home to roost. It's sad, because my feet took me all over the world, but eventually they were like, 'You know what, we are really tired, can you just stop – and don't put cheap shoes on us?'"
NO, STOP. Goodness. You can create a bone in your foot from excessive heel-wearing? That's something that humans can do? Can you create weird bones in your hips from wearing Spanx? When did we get the ability to make our own bones?
Too many questions. Too many nightmares. Let's just call it a day.
--Emily Trainham
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