Especially you, there. Gwyneth Paltrow just knows that you love her, and it's probably because you've finally given up your silly, self-centered, catty ways and started adoring Gwynnie for the many wonderful ways that she's changed your life in her years in Hollywood (and in your homes, clearing all your clutter out and telling you exactly how you should live). Happy Early Christmas!
In a recent interview with "Self" magazine, Gwyneth talked about how she's way less threatening now that she's older, and because of that, she's probably got a whole lot more friends than you ever will, you backward, lady-hating hater, you:
"I feel a sisterhood emerging around me. I’m less threatening now that I’m 40 and not 26-with-an-Oscar. They know I’ve been through a lot of pain and suffering – some public, some private – and I keep going. Or maybe it’s just that I was the first one who could afford therapy!"
Oh, OK. So not only is she saying that she's better because she was bestowed with an Oscar at 26, she's saying that you probably need therapy if you were ever threatened by her. That, and you're poor.
... No, I'm sorry. Come to think of it, how is Gwyneth even remotely unaware that people dislike her entirely because she's a jerk, and actually not at all because she's successful, accomplished, and, of course, a self-proclaimed demigod?
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