Katy Perry and John Mayer Are Not Planning a Quiet, Traditional Wedding, Because They Broke Up Again Maybe

Sources have confirmed to People magazine that Katy Perry and John Mayer's on-again, off-again relationship is, indeed, off-again. Isn't that special? Well, no, it's not special, because it's probably a pretty sad thing for them. But for other people? Well. Kind of special, for sure. 

Just last month you heard John Mayer spouting off his self-righteousness about how marriage is just a natural thing that happens naturally between two natural people, and naturally, that was where the relationship was naturally headed - or at least might have headed, if John Mayer wasn't so naturally icky and squicky and gross and unreliable. 

Wonder why they broke up this time. Was it maybe over who could make the most emo face? Because it was was probably that. It's always something like that with these two. 

-Sarah Taylor

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