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"Carrie" Review: Are They All Gonna Laugh at This Remake?

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"Carrie" is going back to prom ... and while the latest version isn't a bloody mess, it also doesn't compare to the 1976 original.

While remakes like "Dawn of the Dead," "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and this year's "Evil Dead" took the basics of the original and then did something new with them, director Kimberly Pierce's "reimagining" of Stephen King's tale does little to take the story to another level.

What we're left with is a movie that probably won't disappoint newcomers, but doesn't bring anything new to the table for the rest of us.

Chloe Grace Moretz tackles the title character, shifting from her "Kick Ass" persona into a much mousier role as the telekinetic teen. But, even with her messy hair and hunched posture, Moretz is a little too cute for the role ... a role which won the odd-looking, but absolutely incredible, Sissy Spacek an Oscar nomination.

And while the accolades won't be as strong this time around, Julianne Moore deserves some credit for distancing herself from Piper Laurie's over-the-top performance as Margaret White, Carrie's mom.

Where Piper was a force to be reckoned with, Julianne approaches the role in a quieter, more
realistic (but still totally creepy) fashion.

The always-awesome Judy Greer also gives a standout supporting performance as a concerned gym teacher.

As for the plot, it's essentially the same, and the movie plays like a checklist of the most memorable moments from the original. Tampon attack? Check. "Dirty pillows"? Yep. Pig's blood? You got it!

And, aside from a few technological updates to the script (video of Carrie's locker room teasing goes viral, she uses Google to find out more about telekinesis), everything else feels like a retread.

The biggest differences take place during the explosive finale.

Warning: Spoilers ahead for anyone who hasn't seen the 37-year-old movie.

Where Sissy's version of Carrie seemed almost catatonic as she exacted revenge on her classmates, Moretz's relishes the carnage. She moves like an alien, giving a creepy smile amid the chaos. It's a welcome change -- finally, something different!

Her destruction to the entire town is bigger too, though a bit heavy on the CGI.

END OF SPOILERS

In the age of bullying, the new "Carrie" could have been so much more. Instead, it's just another in a long line of "eh" horror remakes.

The original is currently streaming on Netflix -- now would be a good time to watch that instead!

-Brian Particelli

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